Phuket

After Singapore I hopped a Silk Air flight to Phuket, Thailand for a short weekend.

The hotel I picked (merely on the fact I'd earn Starwood points) turned out to be very nice, but was also hosting a Southeast Asia/Asia Pacific regional meeting focused on security issues. So the hotel was full of Asian parliamentarians. Now that is a party!

The hotel had a private beach, which allowed me to walk on the sand without having to fend off people selling random things. I also asked a bartender about damage caused by the tsunami, because it appeared as if nothing had happened there. He pointed to the bottom of the 2nd floor rooms and said "Water was up there" and then explained how the poolside bars and restaurants were all new. At that point, I was glad my room was behind the pool and up a few floors.

The highlight of the weekend (mainly because I overslept and had no other options) was an afternoon trip to visit some elephants and see how the Karan people (from Northern Thailand) live. After a ride up a mountain on the back of an elephant - I think my elephant's name was Gigi and she was 35 years old - we hopped off in a little village. They sold baskets of fruit for people to feed the elephants, who all clearly loved the treats. We then watched some elephants paint, play soccer, dance, etc. The rest of the day included "learning" how to cook Thai food (I'll stick with Old Siam), tap a rubber tree, train monkeys to pick coconuts, etc. All in all it was pretty cool.

Saturday night I decided to venture into the Patong Beach area. Another brilliant idea! I had visions of finding some fresh lobster and drinking a cheap beer (at least cheaper than the hotel). Instead I found a street crowded with Aussie and British tourists, hawkers trying to sell everything you could imagine, scores of dodgey restraurants and pubs, and about 100 tuk-tuk drivers offering to take me to "best massage in the world." I pointed out to the watch salesmen that I already had one. Told the tuk-tuk drivers I'd take a pass on the offer of a ride. Took a pass on that lobster dinner, mainly because the smell from the fish display was so strong I knew it would lead to a dose of Cipro. Basically just walked up and down the stretch for about 15 minutes and escaped into a pub.

One humorous story was my encounter with a tout from a suit shop. If you haven't been to Hong Kong or Bangkok, you might not appreciate this. Picture in your mind a street crammed full of "best quality" tailor shops. In front of each one are 2-10 guys whose job it is to drag tourists into the shop where they can be sold "custom" suits and shirts. The prices are dirt cheap and the quality is usually a step below Wal-Mart. The guy approached me with the usual line "Hello boss" (or the equally popular "Hello mate") "where you from?" I immediately asked him "Where are you from?" And he said Nepal. I said "Great, I'm from India." He was clearly not expecting that answer from me, so he pressed on "So you speak Hindi?" and I snapped back "No, they speak Telagu where I live. Do you speak any Telagu?" Of course I speak neither, but he didn't know. I then told him if he could guess where my shoes were from, I'd buy a shirt from his store. He had no idea and didn't even guess. I think he was still too confused by my original answer. As I walked away, without a new shirt, I could hear him telling his friends "That guy said he was Indian..."

Moral of this entire story? If you go to Phuket, stick to the hotels and avoid Patong Beach. Unless of course you're in the market for a hooker and a cheap suit.