I Really Should Listen to My Own Advice

I always preach about the importance of agreeing on prices when you travel BEFORE you hire a guide or take a cab. Well, for some reason I decided my advice was bunk and I was going to just wing it for a day in Mumbai. Bad idea.

Started off with the cab ride. Hotel cars are expensive, so I opted for a regular taxi. I'd been told it was about 100-150 rupees to get to the Gateway of India, where I planned to catch a boat to Elephanta Island. When we got there, he said it was 250 rupees. I disagreed and he said "I'm hotel taxi, more expensive." I pointed out the obvious similarity between his black and yellow taxi and the other cabs parked around us. I asked him what the difference was and he replied "I have card" and he handed over a laminated price sheet. The sheet had two columns, one for non a/c and one for a/c. The price for a/c was indeed listed at 250 rupees, however his car didn't have a/c. I finally just paid him 200 rupees and told him no need to wait for me, as I was never getting in his car again. My guess is that he may still be waiting.

Buying the boat ticket was easier. 120 r's for an express boat, 80 r's for the slower one. Only problem - there were no "express" boats. I paid the 10 rupee roof surcharge and climbed up top. I was then visited by a series of vendors trying to sell me postcards, water (even though I already had a huge bottle in my hand), necklaces, chips of some kind, and again necklaces. Thank god the boat finally left port. After a painfully slow cruise, I finally reached the island. And the real fun began.

I was immediately greeted by a guide who walked me up the long flight of steps up to the temple. He had grown up on the island and lived there with his wife and two sons. He told me about the tourist season being later in the year, and how they all relied on that time to earn enough money for the rest of the year. At that point, I should have stopped and asked his price. I didn't. I was in a hurry though, as I had a flight to catch at 6:20 p.m. He showed me the temples (quite interesting) and walked me to the top of the hill to see the old WWII cannon the British had installed as defense against whomever tried to attack. Saw some monkeys, a bull, and some women with milk jugs on their heads who tried to take a picture with me (50 rupees). After the tour we headed back to the dock to grab a beer and wait for the next boat back to Mumbai.

The restaurant was clearly owned by one of his buddies. The menu said beers were 90 rupees for a big bottle, so I figured I was going to be buying him a beer and the cost was reasonable. Also ordered some chicken dish (60 rupees) and he ordered some peanuts. After he chugged his beer he ordered another. And then another. Then I got the bill. 610 rupees! I asked him why it was so high and he said "Oh that includes tax and tip." Right. Sure it does. Tipping isn't a very common thing here, and I can guarantee I was just being charged the ripoff price.

This is the point where he also said his fee was 1500 rupees for the tour. 1500? Say it ain't so Babu. I said no way, and we bickered over the price. He came down to 1100 rupees and I thought I should just cut my losses and run. Big problem though: after I'd just paid his overpriced beer tab, I was sitting there with only 550 rupees left. I told him if I'd know that I wouldn't have bought his damn beers and probably would have just walked the temples by myself. I don't think he quite understood me when I told him I only had that much cash, because he insisted he could take US money. And I forgot to mention he'd paid my entrance fee to the temple (250 rupees). He mentioned I could use a credit card, so we walked to the end of the pier. Then he asked for his money, and I reminded him again that I only had about 550 rupees and that he'd said I could pay with a credit card. He said "Oh, we have to walk back up there for that" and pointed to the top of the 126 steps we'd come down about 20 minutes prior.

This is where my Irish temper blew up. I yelled at him and said something to the tune of "I told you that I didn't have any cash. Why did we just walk all the way over here?!?" Off we went back up the hill to a store that had a credit card machine. The owner tried to call to get authorization but the line never picked up. Clearly seeing the smoke coming out of my ears, the guide finally caved and said he'd take what cash I had. But now I'd missed my boat and had to wait for the next one, which happened to be the same slow one that I'd come over on.

We finally docked at about 4:30 in the midst of a torrential downpour. I saw a taxi and asked him if he could take me to the ITC Grand Sheraton. He said "Yes, ITC" and we drove off. Remember, I have no money and my flight leaves in an hour and half. Taxi man starts to make a turn where I know he isn't supposed to, so I told him he was going the wrong way. He listened but still had no clue where he was going. I knew I was in serious trouble at this point: Me giving directions to an Indian cabbie.

After driving me around in the middle of a very crummy part of town and stopping four times to ask for directions, we finally made it to the hotel. It was now 5:40. I ran into to check out and get him some money. He tried to tell me it was 300 rupees for the ride and I said "You got me lost, I'm going to miss my plane and I'm not paying for the extra kilometers you racked up because you didn't know where you were going." The hotel staff intervened on my behalf and told me to pay him 100 rupees. I felt bad, so I gave him 200. He wasn't happy, but whatever.

Oh, and I missed my flight and had to stay another night in Mumbai. Lovely.